Looking within and pulling something out. Much harder than it sounds.
Staring at a blank page is a bit intimidating sometimes. What am I going to write? Does anyone even care what I have to say? Go off on these tangents because I am so passionate.
Been struggling on focus and I know it’s because of social media. But it’s hard when that is what you do, is create content for yourself and others. Hard to not want to check all apps all of the time. How is this post doing, maybe I should have posted it differently. Not all posts, especially for myself are well-thought out or anything, but some, especially on YouTube and TikTok are ones that I hope I am applying what I am learning to these posts and trying to make them get more outreach.
Then I watch videos or livestreams like the guys from VidIQ. Great channel with a lot of YouTube insight, just want to give them a shout out as they put out a lot of helpful content.
And that’s what I want to separate out here, is that there is valuable content being put out there and then there is bullshit garbage posted and it’s deciphering that for yourself to make for a better timeline. Yet, some don’t know how to do that. As the valuable and helpful content and the bullshit gets mixed in together, then a person starts engaging in the bullshit which tells the computerized algorithm that you want to see more of that so it gives more and more to you, then before you know it all of the valuable meaningful content is gone from your timeline. Then after years and years of seeing this bullshit garbage content, it starts to really have an effect on your thinking.
If you’re on social media, we all have our own struggles with it in one way or another. And if you’re an artist it can be really frustrating if you care and are trying to get your name out there. Then there are the ones who it just favors, they get lucky, some think they know why, but ultimately they don’t as the algorithm is highly complex and forever updating and changing. They can say what works for them, but that doesn’t work for you, why? Why did I do this thing they told me to do and I don’t have 100,000 followers in three months like they did? Oh I didn’t throw $10,000 in marketing, they left that part out, fuck.
I have had several moments as an artist where I have gotten extremely frustrated with social media. I was a late adapter to most of it and barely used it – to my own detriment- at the beginning and when I did use it at the time it was for stupid reasons, I didn’t take it seriously or see how it would help me in what I was doing. I was still learning who I was as a person. Figuring out what I wanted to do in life. Who I was going to be, who I wanted to be, what my intentions on this planet were going to be. And in that time, I was looking within, trying to pull something out. I was discovering my soul and was reading into my character. A very self-conscious time, as you don’t feel like you know who you are. I didn’t want to expose that to social media, and this was during the time of writing my first book, which was a lot of self-reflection. Situations that happened when I was a kid, how I chose to react to that, and how I choose to see it going forward.
Obstacles, life lessons all become part of the story. Scars on the skin. Scars under the skin. Heart was a gaping whole I tried to fill, went to Florida and continued drinking like I did in high school, till I blacked out. It was a way of escaping reality, and I did this in other ways too, experimenting with different drugs, if it came from this earth in one form or another, it’s here for a reason. I think America’s perspective on drugs is completely skewed. Think we need to be more accepting of people and less demonizing and attacking. Lend a listening ear, not regurgitated advice you don’t even understand yourself. regurgitated advice you don’t even adhere to yourself.
We all have something we are dealing with. Choose to be kind, realize that the person you are talking to on any level is probably not telling you everything they are dealing with. Again, be more accepting and understanding, not demanding that others live the way you perceive as normal. What the fuck is normal? Define it for me please. Let’s dissect the meaning together, go deeper, go further, think broader, why are you so focused on that when it doesn’t even matter? People are actually upset over a show? They actually hate someone they have never met?
In thinking of AI, which side is going to be easier to deceive?
I can most definitely see a scenario where the same people upset over the Bud Light Dylan Mulvaney situation, could be upset over something similar except that it’s not even a real person they are mad at, it’s an AI video. And again, it starts with writing. Imagine a lot of the text being written on places like 4Chan or Redditt, Twitter etc. and it was being said and repeated by artificially intelligent bots. Imagine the twitter bots of today, the ones spamming the same written tweet over and over again in the replies, able to get different topics trending, able to dupe hundreds of thousands of people into following them and thinking that is a real person tweeting, yet it’s a computer and it’s all text and memes. With AI video, they will be able to have video and what looks like an actual person reading that script they are given.
What’s the difference between that and what we see now with the Sinclair local news? They are all given the same script to read and they read it, as it carefully implants little words and phrases in there to script a certain narrative about a topic. It’s highly effective, and AI videos will be just as effective.
Who is harder to deceive, an 11 year old 6th grader or a 35 year old lawyer?
Again, which side of the political spectrum is going to be more gullible of false narratives? What have we already seen, what evidence do we already have to say, this group of people are going to believe false narratives? The ones who will not be able to tell the difference between a fantasy and reality?
We are seeing this blurring of the lines time and time again. So many are not even conscious of it, it truly blows my mind still to see this in 2023, after I have tried to warn so many friends and family around me. Seeing them still share pages that are not even real, the memes they are making are continuing a narrative that is separating from reality in a way that has caused harm.
As an artist, I am all about separating from reality as long as the person knows they are consciously doing so. You know that you are entering a movie theater to watch Barbie, you know this is fiction. The problem we face, is that people don’t know they are actually living in a fantasy. They have gone down the rabbit hole, so far from an objective truth, with such a fixed mindset, they are hunkered down in the shelter and refuse to come out.
They have a fixed mindset and refuse to change given new information. Imagine if our DNA did that over the course of human evolution. Imagine if we didn’t evolve our thumbs? Where would we be without our thumbs, certainly not at the top of the food chain as we are know. Where would we be without the ability to see various colors of visible light? Countless other changes, that our code of information, our DNA, is what it is today, because it has adapted and changed to the environment in a way that will ensure it’s survival.
What we have seen in recent geopolitical events and how they have been narrated by different countries is a perfect example of what is at stake. How will humanity choose to perceive the world? That is a serious question we have to ask. How will we choose to perceive the world? Because how we choose to perceive the world will be how the next evolutionary step of human beings will see it. And that next evolutionary step will be what we see as Artificial Intelligence, but really it will be a combining of humans with this technology, allowing people to live longer as it already has been doing for centuries.
Humans and technology are already synonymous with each other. Wherever you find humans, you find technology. Traces of ancient civilizations are found in the technology they left behind.
It’s technology that has allowed humans to expand the average life expectancy so rapidly in the past 100 years and will continue to do so in the next hundred years. Ray Kurzweil says in his books that humans will be able to live as long as they want to live. He sees there being a point at which they may choose to end their consciousness.
Imagine living centuries in a matter of a second here on Earth. Time is perception as well. Does time seem faster at the north pole than it does at the equator? Not enough to really notice but it is slightly as gravity is ever so slightly different, spin of the Earth is just slightly tilted. Aren’t we all just a little tilted?
Ah, you’re an artist, just shut the fuck up!
And I say, it’s artists that drive change. It’s artists that can creatively speak truth to power, which is what I aimed to do with Bleace. To talk about all of our situations allegorically.
There is a lot happening right now. Sometimes decades go on and nothing happens, then there are times where decades happen in a matter of minutes.
How many drastic changes we have had in the past five years a lone! Feels like it’s going to take decades just to process it. But it’s incessant, it’s every single day. We can’t let up, we can’t just ignore it, think it’s not cool to talk about, think there is nothing you can do about it, or think that these problems are just too far away from you to be concerned with. That’s bull shit. That’s disrespecting yourself as an individual. That is belittling yourself as a human being on this planet. Do you know how astronomically rare that is for you to be living right here in this moment? Take a second to think on that. Momento Mori. Remember that you have to die, that this has to end. Nothing lasts forever. Change is incessant, the only constant in this universe is change.
Just feels like we are falling and falling down a hill getting battered with one unprecedented thing after another.
Yet, there is only going to be more change and it’s going to happen at a faster pace and if we don’t talk about hard truths now, and we continue to put it off, put it off, hope for Superman to come save us, it’s not going to happen.
There are some really heavy fights happening right now, for artists and really workers across the country. how will this strike end? Should end with the workers winning, but will it? Remains to be seen, I support them in their fight.
Then we have what is happening with the former president of the united states, who was just arraigned for the third time in four months.
This case is significant for a lot of reasons. If you have read my thesis paper, Users with Dissociative Identity disorder, you will know why this latest case in particular is of significant relevance. Returning now to the point about which side of the political spectrum is going to be more gullible of false narratives? What have we already seen, what evidence do we already have to say, this group of people are going to believe false narratives? The ones who will not be able to tell the difference between a fantasy and reality?
Objective Truth has to matter. There has to be evidence-based facts that everyone can recognize whether they want to or not. Reminds me of a baby wanting to drink gasoline. They believe it’s mountain dew, but you as the adult know that it’s gasoline and will kill the baby, but the baby screams, begging to drink the gasoline, you tell it no over and over again, but the baby insists on drinking it as it thinks you are lying to it and it believes that it’s Mountain dew.
Will the next Dylan Mulvaney be an AI Video? A Person that doesn’t actually exist, but they have Instagram, they have tik tok – yes and it’s all an Artificial image. Captions generated by AI.
Who will be easier to dupe with these deep fakes? Who is going to fall for them? We have seen hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people fall for fake accounts on Twitter and Facebook as they share their memes and posts which ever so slightly help tell the narrative, help continue to the fantasy, interact with the fantasy, and be apart of the fantasy, it’s very intoxicating, you don’t have to just sit on the sidelines and watch your TV, you get grab your phone and with your highly evolved thumb write a reply to a post written by an artificially intelligent computer and you’ll get a lot of likes, meet others who think the same way you do, will share in the same fantasy, and guess what? You can meet them at the rally, because your favorite rock star is touring the country nonstop! Who is going to be there other than the grifters, it’s the idiots who still believe in Santa Claus.
Idiot. Noun, a person of low intelligence.
Who is harder to deceive, an 11-year-old 6th grader or a 35-year-old lawyer?
Look at the average reading level of voters. It’s shocking how low the average reading level is and uneducated they really are, by design. This is not to blame the person in any sense. This is just pointing to the environment in which they are raised. I have compassion for their situation. This is a matter of getting them to see it. To see that the same ones they keep voting for are keeping them in this position.
How many countries have they visited verse the number of countries the politicians they vote for?
How much travel does the average voter do verse the average politician?
How many countries does the average politician visit verse the average voter?
How many Michelin star restaurants has the average voter eaten at verse the average politician?
We all have to face hard truths about ourselves. It’s very hard for the ego to do, to admit a wrong, to admit a mistake.
I have had to undergo this in my life as well, it’s not easy, what got me through it was art. It was creating, it was writing, it was designing, it was animating, painting, all of it. Self expression. Let it out, it’s ok to express yourself. write it out, say it out loud just to see how it feels.
We have to be accepting of others. Many who continue to support the previous president, are hurting, they are hurting and they don’t know who to turn to for help. Their government, by design and by sheer greed, has deserted them, corporation have deserted them. They have torn out the unions and pitted everyone against each other.
To evolve require cooperation.
We have to cooperate with one another in order to progress. That requires everyone to face hard truths, to say that everyone as a collective has added to this storm we see brewing before us, screaming at each other on the timeline. Not even willing to have a discourse.
We have to be able to communicate with one another. If we stop communicating, then we will stop progressing in the same manner, which will matter as we take these next evolutionary steps that we are on the brink of. Technology that is going to continue to rapidly change our environment, and technology that will have the power to magnify the problems we currently face, so if we think they are hard truths to face now, truths that are too much to face now, will be even harder to face in the near future.
What are we going to do about that? Sit back, because I am just an artist? It won’t matter if we don’t have a sustainable environment, that won’t matter if we go through a nuclear war based on lies and deceit. Who will be there to read then? What will matter then?
I have hope for humanity and no, I am not a doomsdayer or think we are always on the brink. But like the people who update the time on the Doomsday clock, I keep an eye on it, and with the recent war in Ukraine, it feels like World War 3 has already begun. I think most world leaders see that but don’t want to raise the alarm as they all have financial interests and don’t want to cause a panic in the markets before they actually have to. Remember how the messaging was early on, because they didn’t want people panic buying certain items, feels like the same going on here. I know the Military Industrial complex has to keep going and the war ending in the middle east meant those government contracts had to continue to exist and find another deal somewhere else, most definitely another factor for spending billions, but I do think to a certain extent they know the seriousness of this move and the implications it has, and look at NATO in how quickly they are now adding countries.
Politics doesn’t have to be like this. It doesn’t have to be hostile.
Fragile time we are in right now.
The journey isn’t long, it’s right now and it’s infinite. Go Further. Further into the future that lays itself out before you. Growing pains, one step at a time.
And if this my last episode ever, and one of these times that will be true, so I want to say it now, because if not now, when? But I just want to say before I go, one last thing and if it’s the last thing I ever say I want it to be this -
Before I get into today’s topic I just want to say a few things. Some may hear this and think that I am being political, that I am taking a side here, but what I am saying applies to both parties equally. It’s not about what about-isms. So fucking tired of talking about one person and the response being – well what about. What about them? You wouldn’t be able to say that in a court of law. Your honor, my client blatantly broke the law, but what about so and so. It’s not pertinent to the case and does not excuse what they did. And at the onset of this episode, I also will say again as I have said in previous episodes, I think Democracy dies in a two party system. Some may say Democracy never actually existed in this country thanks to the electoral college and the word ‘lobbying.’
What does it say about a society when the politicians are working to their grave?
I feel like we need to revamp this country. It’s 2023 and we need to hit the update button. Again, compare it to a computer. How often do we install new software updates to it? Now, we are still beholden to code written over 200 years ago? What else do we still use from that time? Forks? Spoons? Fire?
We need term limits. We need to abolish the Electoral College in it’s entirety or California and New York need 4 times the number of electors. How is it possible that we have had 2 separate incidents in this country where a President gets elected who loses the popular vote but wins the electoral college vote? We can’t let this happen for a third time, that would be a shame on all of us to then continue to call this country a democracy.
Popular Vote is the KISS method. Keep It Simple Stupid. Most Votes Wins, everyone knows the rules, Good Luck.
Also need to do away with Gerrymandering. Re-zoning districts so that it’s more favorable to whoever happens to be in power at the time. I remember that happening to me when I went to go vote once, I went back to where I had voted a few times before and they told me that my voting place had changed. I was so pissed. I had waited a good three hours in line, get up there and they tell me it moved. Fucking Gerrymandering bullshit.
Term limits. The average life expectancy for people living in America in 1776 was 35 years old! It is now 79 Years! Over double! We can’t continue to have career politicians in seats of power for decades. Look at where that has gotten us. A two party system that both benefit via monetary compensation to keep things the way they are.
Look where this two party system has gotten us, from the time of the first civil war until now. Now, where people are to this day still waving the confederate flag. So many people entrenched in their beliefs, they refuse to change.
It takes hot air and cold air to create a storm. Storm that is growing in strength. As this planet gets hotter and hotter so too our tempers.
Look at the correlation between weather and human behavior. Find some interesting trends. Crime rises in the summer, December sees the most suicides, yet we sing it’s the happiest time of the year. Therein lies a black and white example of belief verse reality in America. The month of December. The song, It’s Been a Long December by the Counting Crows is in my top 50 songs of all time, as being from Michigan and experiencing winter depression heavy. It also being the month that my grandfather passed away, one who I never had a chance to meet.
I see what my family went through in terms of credit card bills, thinking they had to keep up and fall into the credit card craze of the 90’s. consumerism. Buy, buy, buy. You can buy happiness. Happiness lies in the next item. I remember I would be so worked up going into Christmas, and looking back at those Christmas Eve nights, I was having an effect of all the anxiety in the house, I would get sick, physically throw up I was so anxious as a kid.
Then going through the years I went through a phase where I totally hated the holiday and wanted nothing to do with it.
Now as an adult I see it for what it really is. Coke and Macy’s came together and created the modern day Santa Claus inspired by Saint Nicholas.
So it’s a belief in Santa Claus which is then tied to another wide-spread belief.
And a funny note about December and celebration of the fictional character Jesus’s birthday, is that according the fictional book the Bible it is so called, is that he would have been more like to be born in August or September as men were coming from the fields which means they were harvesting the crops. So why change it to December 25th as if that were true? But when it’s a fictional character, you can do whatever is best to serve the needs of those in power, it is the King James Edit of the Bible anyway, it was edited to best manipulate the masses and take out stories that could give them hope in rising up to those in power.
I bring all this up as it all ties into the dilemma we are facing in social media. And one that extends now to AI. Of people not being able to tell the difference between a belief and an evidence-based fact.
It’s easier to listen to the belief, makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, comfortable, tells you all you want to hear, makes you feel good to be living the way you have been told to live.
And think about the concept of Santa Claus, it’s adults knowingly lying to their children for years, saying this stranger comes into their house to bring them inanimate objects that are supposed to derive happiness, joy and fulfillment. Yet, billions of pounds of gifts end up in the landfill every year, billions of dollars gets spent on gifts that aren’t wanted.
Destination Happiness. It’s in the next gift, it’s in the next vacation. Chasing, chasing, the little hamster on the wheel, feverishly chasing the next hit of serotonin. Oh it’s in the next thing I will open, that I know for sure!
Oh no, don’t tell Jonny that Santa isn’t real! We have to keep it a secret. Hehe.
Then wonder why Jonny then goes on to the IPad and starts to believe more lies and more lies. Then Jonny, as a 17 year old minor, gets driven by his mommy across state lines with a weapon of war to protect property he cares more about than human lives. And then Jonny gets propped up by others, who believe what little Jonny did was right for their cause, and they want to continue to use him as a prop. Jonny may even have electability, and with no term Limits, Jonny Could get into Congress and serve a 60 or even 70 year term. Think of the power he could gather in that time.
It starts with little lies over the course of someone’s life. So many that it’s hard to keep up with in calling them out. And since it’s already reached the tipping point, most people hear about calling it out and instantly dismiss it. Again, it’s such a powerful pull to live in the comforts of belief, why face harsh realities? Those are cold and desolate, distasteful, put a bad taste in my mouth to think of it, why is their black oil oozing from the gills of my grilled fish? I don’t understand it, why is the power out again? What do you mean storm surge took over my vacation home and we don’t know when the water will recede? I don’t have time to deal with those things right now, I have a deadline to meet, I have a new social media app to keep scrolling.
As a fiction writer myself and someone who loves Art. I am all about escaping the harshness of reality. Living in our Dreams. At the same time, we have to consciously know when we are doing that, we have to know when we are diving into a fiction. And as media has become more invasive on our lives, there has been a massive blurring of the lines here. Televisions, Computers, Phones, Social Media, now artificially intelligent media. The graphics on them getting better and better each month. We are going to see the same problems magnified.
I have been writing my thesis paper for the past 10 years, Users with Dissociative Identity Disorder. Like that seen in the film Shutter Island. Where Leonardo DiCaprio’s character is sitting on the steps at the end of the movie, his doctor begging him to realize the evidence-based fact that he is Andrew Laeddis, yet he fails and still thinks he is Teddy Daniels, leaving his doctor at a loss. They have no other choice but to bake his brain.
It's an uphill battle going against lifelong beliefs, because the more people hear something, the more they take it to be true.
This also ties directly into the climate crisis we are facing. Look at how many say it’s a hoax, as they continue to get slammed by record-breaking storm after record-breaking storm. Water in their lungs they will still scream, it’s a hoax!
It’s also the reason that the former president has to face jail time for what he did. Evidence-based facts have to mean something. There has to be accountability.
In saying that as someone who thinks we do over police. America has by far the highest incarceration rate in the world and that is by design. I think one of the gravest actions this country is taking right now is building more prisons for profit than colleges. Prisons for profit, these companies which you can buy stock in through the New York Stock Exchange. Think of that. What does that say about a society? A society that has the highest incarceration rate in the world, by far, it’s not even close the percentage of Americans that live behind bars in this country, yet people on the fourth of July cheering Freedom! I love my freedom!
I saw more cops on the road driving from New York to Michigan than I ever have. There honestly was a cop very mile of that road, either waiting to pull someone over or already pulling someone over. Predators on the road because it’s all about money, it’s a business, why else would there be laws for seat belts and speeding? Do you think they actually care about your safety? Not if it didn’t mean more ways to make money. They lurch, hiding behind bushes, sit at the bottom of hills, bottom of mountains as was the case with me when I was driving to Telluride Film Festial in a rental car with out of state liscence plate and the cop had his lights on for the person in the lane next to me, who then switched lanes to pull me over, I glanced over and sure enough that other person had in state liscence plate. They knew it was better to pull an out of state way out here in the mountains, as I was more likely to just pay it than fight it, which I tried to do through Ticket Clinic yet since it was so far out there it was cheaper to just pay the ticket. And while I was pulled over noticed that there were about 12 or 13 other cop cars in seeing eye distance, that were waiting at the bottom of the mountain to pull someone over or already had someone pulled over and of course this was right before getting to the Festival which of course they knew was happening. A fucking speed trap that they have probably been sitting at for years!
Again these institutions, tying themselves to money. Why does it have to be a financial hit for speeding or a seat belt? Why is it financial? I know there are options for community service etc. not the point, there is still that financial burden, why? Why does there need to be this transaction of money and why should a financial transaction be an incentive to pull people over like that for a police force? It’s a way for the city to make money? There has to be a better way than that. Ok crazy speeding, and reckless driving, sure pull that over, but going 75 on a 65? Really? Who the fuck is that hurting. The ones that are really hurting, are the ones driving 55 on a 65, or slower! That is what is fucking up traffic and causing more accidents. Again, belief verse evidence based fact.
People have this fear of AI, oh no it’s going to take over, oh no. it’s only magnifying a problem we already deal with! If we don’t start addressing it immediately it’s only going to get worse. We have to overcome these obstacles that have been holding us back for generations.
We have to grow. We have to take the next step. We have to face hard truths. We have to differentiate between beliefs and evidence-based facts. Artificial Intelligence has already been around in social media, what do you think controls what you see on the timeline? That is a computer studying you and your habits, giving you things on the timeline that you are most likely to engage with.
The onus is on all of us. It’s not on these centralized platforms, we can’t let them govern themselves which has really been what they are doing. They are spending billions bribing politicians, I’m sorry in America it’s called Lobbying and it’s perfectly legal because OF COURSE IT IS! Of course the politicians are going to say they are allowed to make an infinite amount of money for as long as they possibly can, even though they are mentally dead!
We have to get more younger people elected. This cannot be who is running our country in 2023. In what time in human history has it been the elderly, nearly deceased who are running things? When has that every been the case?
In order to evolve we have to quickly adapt to change. The rapid pace that social media and technology has advanced has far surpassed any government in power today. They have been outsmarted by these tech companies and their lawyers and have passed laws which will keep them powerful for quite some time, unless legislation gets passed, which right now, with a near 50/50 split – is a great way to keep things the way they are. Do you think it’s only SBF who donates to both sides of the aisle? No he was just an idiot and did it the wrong way, especially after Citizens United passed in 2009. Look at the concentration of wealth in that time.
Completely squeezing everyone out of their savings, making them work 60-80 hours a week, artificial inflation to keep the stock holders happy. That’s the real AI people should be worried about, Artificial Inflation. Many of these companies have seen record profits during and after the pandemic, raising prices because they fucking can. Who is going to tell them otherwise.
We get them to believe that it’s because of the pandemic, that’s why we are raising the prices.
Again, beliefs verse evidence-based facts.
Are we all mindless consumers? Ah, what can you do about it? Ah, voting doesn’t matter. Yes it does and the fact that you can actually believe that, is the trick they try to pull. If it didn’t matter why would the spend Billions of their precious dollars every election cycle. Money and power. Votes are the key to that power and to a lot of that money.
The country desperately needed a third party candidate to win and they had their chance and failed to choose the right one. Now look at this decades, century long mess we are in.
I think we need to rebrand. We need to make DC a state, come up with a new American Flag Design and like the one we currently have, make it a nationwide drawing contest among the youth in schools. Let’s bring excitement back to education and art in particular.
I actually had the chance to meet the guy who drew our current Flag Design. He was 17 at the time, went to Lancaster High School in Ohio. 1958, after Alaska and Hawaii were added.
That is what I am talking about! That is what we need. We need to rally around the arts, we need to rally around teachers as they are helping ensure the youth can remain competitive in the future. And right now, we are failing our youth. American kids are falling behind in almost every area, if we don’t address this soon, this could be catastrophic for GDP. We are moving to an ever increasing global economy, as someone who has been in the virtual Web 3 space, I can tell you that this is only going to get more prevalent. If the youth in America can’t compete on a global scale they will not land important jobs that will then lead to less in taxes collected, etc. then it’s just a snowball effect, infrastructure, even less money for schools, even less to take care of the weak and sick, veterans, our defenses our most beloved over bloated military. Spare me!
A listener for the show sent me a message saying I should run for president with these takes. I laughed, but I don’t limit myself either. I am still a couple years away from being eligible anyway. Whatever will be will be. I am going to be like water and just flow into different mental and physical states as needed.
The journey isn’t long, it’s right now and it’s infinite. Go Further. Further into the future that lays itself out before you. Growing pains, one step at a time.
And if this my last episode ever, and one of these times that will be true, so I want to say it now, because if not now, when? But I just want to say before I go, one last thing and if it’s the last thing I ever say I want it to be this -
